Monday 18 August 2014

depression, part 2. hell and heaven

These days if i am not feeling well as described in part one I try to avoid the statement "I am depressed" I remember reading although I can not remember where I read it, that identification with the state of depression might undermine the rest of me that is not a full participant in the depression. Even the idea that "I have depression" is more desirable in that it acknowledges a me beyond the depression that can be mobilized in a search for a more comfortable and comforting solution. Beyond how I name my condition there are ways of looking at depression that see the condition less pathologically. 
Imagine that, the rehabilitation of my worst enemy that comes and takes over my life in unpredictable and soul draining bouts,  would give birth  to a fee paying, or karma yoga type guest that signals the need for and helps with seasonal house-cleaning.
Elizabeth Kubler Ross in her work places depression as a necessary stage in the grieving process. This work has been around a long time and should be known by people interested in depression and recovery. If you havn't read it. Do. Thomas Moore in a book "Care of the soul" makes interesting observations as to how depression turns a person away from acting on the outside world. This offers an opportunity to go inwards and make or suffer changes to ones inner world. A crisis of the ego or self becomes the growth incentive of the Self. Moreover he challenges the prevalent view that the only acceptable face of wellness is the post war boom of happiness driven by the satisfaction of wants through mass production and consumption. Moore calls for a return to an interior life.
My friend back in Ireland put it this way "some walk to the Altar of Sacrifice, some will be dragged". Thank you Ike for honest and brutal truths.
How much activity in the world would be better left undone. Imagine if Adolph called Heinrich and said  "Heh, let's call off that Polish thing I'm feeling awful fucking depressed today". 
How much of the destructive action carried out by motivated men in the world is motivated by a fear of depression. And more importantly fear of that which lay beneath and beyond despair, legitimate sadness. 
There are worse things than being depressed.
The gates of heaven and the gates of hell differ only in the direction taken by a pilgrim.

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